I SAT WHERE SHE SAT
by Kelli Campbell

“Then I came to them of the captivity at Tel-abib, that dwelt by the river of Chebar,
and I sat where they sat,
and remained there astonished among them seven days.”
Ezekiel 3:15

Then said his wife unto him, Dost thou still retain thine integrity? curse God, and die. But he said unto her, Thou speakest as one of the foolish women speaketh. What? shallwe receive good at the hand of God and shall we not receive evil? In all this did not Job sin with his lips.” Job 2:9-10

KNOWN
*Job was a man who loved and feared God. Job 1:1
*Job took the responsibility, of the spiritual life, of his family seriously. Job 1:5
*Job had a wife. Job 2:9
*Job lost everything (wealth, children, servants, health) except his wife. Job’s wife lost everything, including her husband, for a time, due to his health. Job 1
*Job’s wife told Job to curse God and die because she knew that God had allowed all the evil in their lives. Job 2:9
*Job’s wife didn’t take care of Job when he lost his health. *Job scraped his own sores. Job 2:8
*Job’s wife turned against him. Job 19:19

ASSUMED
*She had to love her husband to have 10 children with him.
*Her children were her life.
*Job’s wife was grieving the loss of her children, wealth, servants and her husband’s health.
*Job’s wife did not love and fear God as Job did. The Bible does not name her. She is just Job’s wife. God did name other godly couples such as Zacharius and Elizabeth & Aquila and Priscilla.
*She was angry and bitter at God for taking everything away from her.
*Could she have loved her children and her possessions more than her husband?
*She became angry at Job, for their losses, because he wouldn’t curse God.
*She took her anger out on Job. She did not physically care for the only family she had left who needed her the most. He was hurting too!
*She assumed her hurt was bigger than the hurt of her husband and left him alone with 3 friends who abused Job verbally and told him what a rotten person he was.
*She did not stand up for her husband when his friends came to accuse him and tell him it was his fault that he had lost everything. Maybe she thought it was true too.

WHAT CAN I LEARN FROM HER

First, let me say that I have not been through the loss of a child. Not even a miscarriage. I have no idea how much it can hurt to lose a child. I can only imagine and empathize. One loss would be horrible, ten unimaginable. I am sure her family was her whole life. In all fairness, I believe Job’s wife was grieving, horribly, when she spoke wrongly to her husband! I do not want to judge her harshly because I have not sat where she sat in this area. I do not know how I would handle the loss of my children and hope I do not ever have to know.

I know, like her, what it feels like to lose your wealth (what little we did have) and I know, like her, what it feels like to watch your husband suffer in agony, all day every day, for a long time. I wish I knew what it felt like to lose all those servants though. That had to be hard, too. In this area, I have sat where she sat. In Job, I can learn, through her example, how not to handle difficult trials.

Most importantly, Job’s wife did not have a walk with God like her husband did. The most important thing you can do, especially before life gets hard, is to have a relationship with God. Read your Bible and talk to Him every day! Have a real friendship with God so when the trial of your faith comes you know Who to turn to. Would you not have loved to be the one named in the Bible who was the friend of God? There were many ladies who were names were recorded in the Bible because of their faith. She was not included as one of them.

Job’s wife’s hurt, anger and bitterness were directed at the wrong person. She wanted Job to curse God and die but in reality she should have been mad at Satan. He is the one who goes to God day and night accusing God’s people and tries to get them to turn against the One Who has done so much for us. Yes, God allowed Satan to have Job but God trusted Job to keep his integrity and faith. His wife should have trusted God and trusted Job, too.

In her anger, she wanted Job to curse the Only One who could help them. Thankfully her nagging did not get him to turn on God. She had a very godly husband. If you have a godly husband, you should be so very grateful and not take him for granted.

Job’s wife failed to be there for the person she pledged, before God, to take care of in sickness and in health. Job was having the trial of his life and she ran to her tent and slammed the flap and refused to come out. Job was hurting, more so, because he had to endure the physical pain too. When tough times come we need to be there for our family even when we are hurting. Our husbands’ need our words of affirmation and cheering them on, “You can do this. We will make it together. What can I do to help make it better? (Even though sometimes there is nothing you can do.)”

As we travel, my heart breaks when I hear the following statement ~ I cannot count the times I have heard it, “I am glad you are still with your husband and you did not leave him.” Has our world gotten so bad that it is expected that we leave when times are hard? I believe it is. My response is usually, “Well, that would be like him leaving me if I were to get some horrible disease.” Husbands and wives need to stay, in the good times and the bad. We should not have the mentality of running when times are not pleasant.

She allowed Job to be abused by his friends. Where was she when this was happening? If someone came to my door, sat down on my sofa, and was saying hurtful things to my husband, sick or not, let’s just say they would not see my sweet side! Be there and be what they need.

I write all the above to say, I cannot judge her harshly. I have not sat where she sat in all areas. She was grieving. I can say that she should have walked with God more than she did, supported her husband, taken care of him more than she did and handle her grief, bitterness and anger better than she did but how many of us do everything right? I want Job’s wife to not be judged so harshly. So many times I hear negativity concerning Job’s wife and they forget she lost everything, for a time, and was grieving terribly.

There are days I want to run to my room and slam the door and never come out until my life is “all better.” There are days I feel so far away from God even though I am reading my Bible and praying. On other days, I feel so close to God I can “feel” Him! I listen for that “still small voice” every day. I need to hear my God every day. I need to feel Him when the days are hard. How can I do that if I am not listening because I am angry that God has allowed this horrible situation in my life? I remember that His ways are not my ways and that He knows what I need more than I do. He knows tomorrow and the next day and the next. Trust Him even when it hurts!

THE REST OF THE STORY

Though the Bible says, “So the LORD blessed the latter end of Job more than his beginning,” and He gave him twice as much as he had before, including 10 more children, was not Job’s wife blessed as well? She had 10 more children. I call that blessed! I believe God, in His infinite mercy, knew how hard it was for Mrs. Job to handle all the losses and pain she had and He blessed her, too, by blessing her husband. I am not a sports fan but I can say, it is easy to be a couch potato referee in this game of life, watching from the side lines. Our God, in Heaven, has the best seat in the world, literally. He knows what calls to make and who can carry the ball to the goal line. If God allows something hard in your life just carry the ball and allow Him to show you how to get to that field goal. Sometimes it is hard to see and there are many big, ugly blocks in the way, or Satan himself. When you get tackled, get back up and start running again. Just get to the finish line. Oh, and, the people on the side lines trying to make the calls, ignore them, and keep looking to the One who makes ALL the right calls.

P. S. Remember to not be like Job’s friends, or referee, as we see others going through difficult times.